Adult separation anxiety is said to come from early experiences in life. Statistics show that most fears that manifest in adult life root back from experiences in babyhood to early and late childhood. The mind of a child is like a ‘tabula rasa’ (an empty tablet). His first experiences are the ones that fill up the tablet and these are what he remembers most often as he ages.
Childhood is the stage where the foundations of the human psyche are built. What happens during this period is believed to certainly affect in either major or subtle ways in terms of responses to situations in later life.
Babies do not have a conception of time. Any form of separation can mean forever detachment to them. Take for example a baby that is just handed to a relative who is not constant in his usual environment, the baby tends to cry hysterically. This even involves kicking, screaming and hair pulling.
Another example is when babies are left alone. They tend to be more anxious, thus the crying in the middle of the night when they wake up from their slumber and they find themselves alone in the room in utter silence. That is why it is very important to be empathetic to babies. Make them as comfortable as you can. Do not turn this natural reaction into a serious problem in the future by ignoring your baby’s need for security. Be there. Be as patient and as giving as you can so the baby’s development is as normal as it can possibly be.
However, you need to know when is the right time for them to be able to adjust in situations that separation must take place. Hold talk sessions to prepare them for the inevitable. If you’re not good at this, there are baby books that deal with this subject matter. They’ll understand better if they have something to relate to. Other than stories, there are also videos that will help them understand the situation. Assure them that you will be back and the people they are with are nice and friendly. Let the child know that the other children are waiting for him to play with them and they’ll be happy if he joins them.
However:
If your adult separation anxiety didn’t stem from an unhappy childhood experience, you should move on by finding ways to manage it.
In the world of adults, this disorder would occur in pretty much the same scenario – marital separation, separation from the children, friends, relatives, work and all sorts of separation from things that have emotional attachment or sentimental value. By numbers, adult separation disorder is less common than childhood separation anxiety, which is a juvenile psychiatric disorder. This can be worst if no action is taken.
The most common way of dealing with this is by seeking the help of a professional therapist. You can also browse the Internet to get some aid from online anxiety dealing communities. It is also always good to get involved in social groups, so you’ll have people that will act as your support system.
Although adult separation anxiety as a juvenile disorder ramifies from a bigger issue, the best thing is to do is to really attempt to transcend the fear. Easier said than done, you say. Maybe. But if you just try, you will be surprised that once you’ve taken the first step, moving forward isn’t that difficult anymore. Once you get the knack of it, everything will flow like water.
Here is another tip. Nourish your spirituality. Try to learn meditation. This increases your ability to deal with pain and enables you to traverse the idea of anxieties and further understand them. This may take a while, but it’s as good as buying yourself a cure for the anxiety disorder.
Also, it is important to work on your fears and act against them. Recognize your personal attachments in life. List them down and work on them on a daily basis. In the process, try to be more positive in your reactions to situations in life. When regularly practiced, this behavioral approach will tremendously increase your ability to deal with your attachments and your adult separation anxiety.
